Roka, engagement and the first meeting of families
Months before the wedding, the families meet formally and agree that this is happening. The names differ — roka, sagai, mangni, nischayathartham — and so does the scale.
Roka
Literally "to stop" — the point at which both families stop looking. Traditionally small: the girl's family visits the boy's or vice versa, sweets and gifts are exchanged, a tilak is applied, and the match is declared. In practice it has grown into a substantial party in many families.
Engagement (sagai / mangni)
- Rings exchanged, often with the two families formally introduced to each other's extended relatives for the first time.
- Gifts and clothes exchanged between families — often a specified list.
- The date is fixed, usually with a priest calculating an auspicious window — see muhurat.
Regional versions
| Nischayathartham | South Indian — a formal announcement with the horoscopes read aloud and the wedding date declared |
| Aashirwad | Bengali — elders bless the couple separately at each home |
| Mangni | The North Indian Muslim engagement, with rings and gifts |
| Gol dhana | Gujarati — jaggery and coriander seeds shared to seal the agreement |
Dress as you would for a smart party rather than a wedding, take sweets or flowers, and expect it to be shorter and more conversational than the wedding itself — this is largely an event for the two families to look each other over.
Last updated: 2026-08-13
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